My dreams came true today I got to sub in a pre school class room and I loved it! I hope and pray that I will be hired on permanently! I loved it it was so rewarding!
just thought I would say thanks to the person who got it all started!
Thank you so much for all your help SARAH!
4/23/2008
thank you SARAH for this blog.....
i am: very blessed
i think: i am very blessed
i know: i am loved
i want: a good job
i have: more then I will ever need
i wish: i knew the futuer of my family
i hate: mean people
i miss: gran gran
i fear: nothing with the LORD
i feel: very blessed
i hear: children playing
i smell: pee
i crave: LOVE from everyone
i search: for the LORD
i wonder: how long I will live
i regret: not finishing college
i love: GOD,mike,savy seth sloan...my family
i ache: all the time
i care: for the LORD
i always: need to be told that I am LOVED
i am not: thin
i believe: God works in CRAZY ways when you least expect it
i dance: with my boys
i sing: in the car
i cry: A LOT
i don't always: feel loved
i fight: for my kids
i write: as little as possible
i never: feel totaly loved by my family
i listen: to a lot of people
i can usually be found: in bed...
i think: i am very blessed
i know: i am loved
i want: a good job
i have: more then I will ever need
i wish: i knew the futuer of my family
i hate: mean people
i miss: gran gran
i fear: nothing with the LORD
i feel: very blessed
i hear: children playing
i smell: pee
i crave: LOVE from everyone
i search: for the LORD
i wonder: how long I will live
i regret: not finishing college
i love: GOD,mike,savy seth sloan...my family
i ache: all the time
i care: for the LORD
i always: need to be told that I am LOVED
i am not: thin
i believe: God works in CRAZY ways when you least expect it
i dance: with my boys
i sing: in the car
i cry: A LOT
i don't always: feel loved
i fight: for my kids
i write: as little as possible
i never: feel totaly loved by my family
i listen: to a lot of people
i can usually be found: in bed...
4/22/2008
Skinny B*tch...
When I was at Sarah's house today I started reading for the 2ND time "SKINNY BITCH" I started it a few months ago and the language is so bad in it that I had to stop reading it but now I feel that I can just overlook those "BAD" word and get what the book is really talking about. I have just read the 1st chapter and I am hoping to read the second chapter tonight before bed but I really feel like it might change the way I look at food and drinks~ I hope it does anyway...Some of the thinks that i was putting in my body were so bad for me. Full of chemicals and junk. I don't need to be worrying about my food & drinks. I have enough to worry about. So I am going to try very hard to be a lot more healthier in my choices of food. I really want to be healthier in my life so I can be around for a long time....
4/14/2008
Happy Birthday Seth
HAPPY 8th BIRTHDAY!!! Seth Peter....
Today is Seth's birthday and I have had a very busy day! I had to go get his gift this morning and cupcakes for his class. I had to go while Sloan was at school so he would not tell his brother what he got. I also had a meeting at school about Seth and his LD and what they will be doing at school for the next 5 weeks. He will have to go to a "Special" math and spelling class when he is having them in his regular class and he will go to speech class once a week. {SO I am hoping that this will all help him get to where he needs to be. I am also thinking about getting him a tutor this summer. I would like to set Savy one to so that she can keep the school info fresh in her mind. BUT, the money is a big issue...I will not be making as much this summer and I would like to do somethings but then again I would also like them to succeed in school to.!? I guess I will just pray about it and the Lord will work it out like he always does.} I also went to his class after the meeting to do cupcakes with his friends at school. Then i had to run to Andrea's house get Sloan, and then I got to come home. It was close to 3:30 by the time I got here and let me just tell you how very tired I am....
Ok I am off to watch Desperate House Wives from last night I could not stay up that late to watch it so I DVRed it...
God Bless
~N~
Today is Seth's birthday and I have had a very busy day! I had to go get his gift this morning and cupcakes for his class. I had to go while Sloan was at school so he would not tell his brother what he got. I also had a meeting at school about Seth and his LD and what they will be doing at school for the next 5 weeks. He will have to go to a "Special" math and spelling class when he is having them in his regular class and he will go to speech class once a week. {SO I am hoping that this will all help him get to where he needs to be. I am also thinking about getting him a tutor this summer. I would like to set Savy one to so that she can keep the school info fresh in her mind. BUT, the money is a big issue...I will not be making as much this summer and I would like to do somethings but then again I would also like them to succeed in school to.!? I guess I will just pray about it and the Lord will work it out like he always does.} I also went to his class after the meeting to do cupcakes with his friends at school. Then i had to run to Andrea's house get Sloan, and then I got to come home. It was close to 3:30 by the time I got here and let me just tell you how very tired I am....
Ok I am off to watch Desperate House Wives from last night I could not stay up that late to watch it so I DVRed it...
God Bless
~N~
4/12/2008
jobs...
About a week ago I was talking to Andrea about one of her friends working at CURVES and she was telling me about what GREAT hours so i called the curves that I was close to and one of them was hiring so i went and applied and I got offered a job this week....after much debate I decided that now was not the right time to be working every night. This is Sloans last summer at home and I want to spend as much time with him as I can. I know he will only be going to 1/2 day kindergarden but, i KNOW that I will have time to work full time.....
UPDATE...
Savy is doing fine she went to school the next day and the boy that did the pencil in the eye was there and he says he didn't get into trouble?! GO figure.......I am glad that she didn't lose here eye sight!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO >>>>> SARAH C. you r a beautiful young lady and I love you! I hope you had a great BIRTHDAY!!!
UPDATE...
Savy is doing fine she went to school the next day and the boy that did the pencil in the eye was there and he says he didn't get into trouble?! GO figure.......I am glad that she didn't lose here eye sight!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO >>>>> SARAH C. you r a beautiful young lady and I love you! I hope you had a great BIRTHDAY!!!
4/09/2008
School part 2
Ok I said I wanted to say more and this is it...
Savy wants to start going to Castle NOW she has had such a bad year she has teachers that don't care about her she is always coming home saying that someone made fun of her for being dumb (witch by the way she is not) she has been hit...and now she has been hit in the eye with a pencil...How much more should one child have to put up with at school? Shouldn't she be able to switch schools even though she only has a month left?! I am very torn part of me says If you love her don't make her go back to that awful school~ the other part says by the time she gets settled in she will be out for summer break? SO what to do.....I just really need to pray about it I guess.....Well I am off to bed I have a head ache and tomorrow is always another day....
Also if you all could PLEASE pray for the Haitians(?SP) there have been alot of riots going on over there and it is very troublesome to me because Sarah will be going over there very soon to see her son!
God Bless~!
Savy wants to start going to Castle NOW she has had such a bad year she has teachers that don't care about her she is always coming home saying that someone made fun of her for being dumb (witch by the way she is not) she has been hit...and now she has been hit in the eye with a pencil...How much more should one child have to put up with at school? Shouldn't she be able to switch schools even though she only has a month left?! I am very torn part of me says If you love her don't make her go back to that awful school~ the other part says by the time she gets settled in she will be out for summer break? SO what to do.....I just really need to pray about it I guess.....Well I am off to bed I have a head ache and tomorrow is always another day....
Also if you all could PLEASE pray for the Haitians(?SP) there have been alot of riots going on over there and it is very troublesome to me because Sarah will be going over there very soon to see her son!
God Bless~!
School
So I go to Bible Study study this morning where I am totally lost. As it was getting over I look down at my cell phone and it was HEBRON calling...O my what has happened. I tried to call the school several times but it was busy then my mom calles me and says "991 991 you need to go get Savy she has been hit in the eye with a pencil!" O my I said can you get Sloan? she said yes and I am off to Hebron to get my baby girl worried sick the whole time....How could anyone hit my baby girl with a pencil? What could of possible happened.....these were all the questions going through my mind..I get to school and no ones seems to care. I went right past the office to the nurses office to get her and take her to the doctor. I went up to get Savy's math home work and Mrs. Schultz said I can not believe that she got hit so hard she has to go home.....Needless to say this comment mad me upset. I go back down stars and then another one of her teachers says something similar SO needless to say I am very HOT by this point....I take her to the eye doctor and she had to get 3 pieces of lead pulled out of her eye! Dr. Pratt said it was like a splinter being pulled out of your hand. He gave us some medicine and sent us on r way......We went to target to get the medicine and then got Sloan and came on home where she has been resting all afternoon.
I have more to wright about this but ...Mike just got in so it will have to be later!
Peace!
Nikki
I have more to wright about this but ...Mike just got in so it will have to be later!
Peace!
Nikki
4/08/2008
McDonalds.................
Today I went to McDonald's for lunch we went to the one in Newburgh that had a play place. We had Sarah's little girls and Sloan. So we knew that we could talk without them bugging....Well we ate and the kids were playing and then a women came over to me (Sarah was trying to get Emily to come down the slide) and said that the play place was closing????For a meeting ? I have never heard of this before.....;But o well I we said and left after we got Emily down (Yes Sarah had to go into the tubes after her) better women then I am! AS we were getting ready to leave I was looking around and all I saw were over weight VERY over weight people! All the managers and higher ups at this meeting were VERY over weight.....Which leads me to believe that McDonald food was making them this way because you know they eat alot of it!
NOW don't get me wrong I am very over weight and I am VERY self conscious of it. But, I have to wonder if I would work in a place like that that had all FAT people working for them...
SO here I am felling uneasy about my lunch choice and I get an email from my dad it is about McDonald and how they had donated money to the national gay and lesbian chamber and how there was a high person on the board to help with future involvements. First of all let me say that I have not found anything really to prove or disprove this BUT I will not eat there until I find out that this is not true. It truly made me SICK to think that I had spent MANY of my hard earned dollars to support this kind of thing!
NOW don't get me wrong I am very over weight and I am VERY self conscious of it. But, I have to wonder if I would work in a place like that that had all FAT people working for them...
SO here I am felling uneasy about my lunch choice and I get an email from my dad it is about McDonald and how they had donated money to the national gay and lesbian chamber and how there was a high person on the board to help with future involvements. First of all let me say that I have not found anything really to prove or disprove this BUT I will not eat there until I find out that this is not true. It truly made me SICK to think that I had spent MANY of my hard earned dollars to support this kind of thing!
4/01/2008
Feelings~?~!
I really don't know where to start....
I have been feeling very down lately.
I am so tired I never thought I would ever be this tired! I also really want to help Mike pay the bill in the new house. I also want a break from the kids. Don't get me wrong I love my kids more then life itself and I would do anything for them. BUT I can not keep cleaning up after them. they have NO chores to do. Ever time I give them chore they NEVER do them which really makes me mad and then I just do what ever it is I told them to do! Yes I think this is part of the reason I am so very tired. I feel like I am just getting bigger and bigger I eat and eat because I am unhappy then all the neg. talk comes in and it is a never ending story. I just really don't know how to get help or fix it. I feel like my friends r tired of listening to me and I really don't want to burden them with my unhappiness but I really feel like I need help!!! I really can not but in words how I feel and I know that everyone has felt bad from time to time but, I feel like this is worse....I have very low self esteem and then with the overwhelming feeling of being a bad mother. I just don't know where to turn!
UGH UGH UGH I really don't like feeling like this and I think if i got a better paying job and felt like I was doing something I might feel better....WHO knows I may never feel better...I really wish I had the energy to exercise and diet I would love to be one of those people who could pay someone to hold me accountable for it and training me to eat better and exercise 2 times a day...But they r way to expensive and there is no way we could afford it. I also wish I could get a better job I think if I started working now part time in a few months I could go to full time when Sloan is in Kindergarten. I just hope that the kids and mike start helping around the house....I wish that I could just be a healthy size and not have to worry about what people r thinking of me.
God Bless
~N~
I have been feeling very down lately.
I am so tired I never thought I would ever be this tired! I also really want to help Mike pay the bill in the new house. I also want a break from the kids. Don't get me wrong I love my kids more then life itself and I would do anything for them. BUT I can not keep cleaning up after them. they have NO chores to do. Ever time I give them chore they NEVER do them which really makes me mad and then I just do what ever it is I told them to do! Yes I think this is part of the reason I am so very tired. I feel like I am just getting bigger and bigger I eat and eat because I am unhappy then all the neg. talk comes in and it is a never ending story. I just really don't know how to get help or fix it. I feel like my friends r tired of listening to me and I really don't want to burden them with my unhappiness but I really feel like I need help!!! I really can not but in words how I feel and I know that everyone has felt bad from time to time but, I feel like this is worse....I have very low self esteem and then with the overwhelming feeling of being a bad mother. I just don't know where to turn!
UGH UGH UGH I really don't like feeling like this and I think if i got a better paying job and felt like I was doing something I might feel better....WHO knows I may never feel better...I really wish I had the energy to exercise and diet I would love to be one of those people who could pay someone to hold me accountable for it and training me to eat better and exercise 2 times a day...But they r way to expensive and there is no way we could afford it. I also wish I could get a better job I think if I started working now part time in a few months I could go to full time when Sloan is in Kindergarten. I just hope that the kids and mike start helping around the house....I wish that I could just be a healthy size and not have to worry about what people r thinking of me.
God Bless
~N~
HAPPY 5th BIRTHDAY SLOANY~
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SLOANY!!!
I remember this day five years ago like it was yesterday. I remember dropping savy and sethy off at sarahs and I remember mom walking in the room all fixed up and saying "her we go again!" I remember when dad and pam got there. (They drove all that way just to see his birth) It was an awsome day for sure.
And now 5 years later I would not change it for anything! I love my Sloany. He has such a personality.....I am mommy helper at pre-school today and I got spider-man cup cakes ( that is what I get for waiting to the last minute to buy something. He would have much rather had pirates or cars....O well it will all be ok~
I LOVE YOU SLOANY HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!
LOVE MOMMA
I remember this day five years ago like it was yesterday. I remember dropping savy and sethy off at sarahs and I remember mom walking in the room all fixed up and saying "her we go again!" I remember when dad and pam got there. (They drove all that way just to see his birth) It was an awsome day for sure.
And now 5 years later I would not change it for anything! I love my Sloany. He has such a personality.....I am mommy helper at pre-school today and I got spider-man cup cakes ( that is what I get for waiting to the last minute to buy something. He would have much rather had pirates or cars....O well it will all be ok~
I LOVE YOU SLOANY HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!
LOVE MOMMA
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