Feelings~?~!

I really don't know where to start....
I have been feeling very down lately.
I am so tired I never thought I would ever be this tired! I also really want to help Mike pay the bill in the new house. I also want a break from the kids. Don't get me wrong I love my kids more then life itself and I would do anything for them. BUT I can not keep cleaning up after them. they have NO chores to do. Ever time I give them chore they NEVER do them which really makes me mad and then I just do what ever it is I told them to do! Yes I think this is part of the reason I am so very tired. I feel like I am just getting bigger and bigger I eat and eat because I am unhappy then all the neg. talk comes in and it is a never ending story. I just really don't know how to get help or fix it. I feel like my friends r tired of listening to me and I really don't want to burden them with my unhappiness but I really feel like I need help!!! I really can not but in words how I feel and I know that everyone has felt bad from time to time but, I feel like this is worse....I have very low self esteem and then with the overwhelming feeling of being a bad mother. I just don't know where to turn!
UGH UGH UGH I really don't like feeling like this and I think if i got a better paying job and felt like I was doing something I might feel better....WHO knows I may never feel better...I really wish I had the energy to exercise and diet I would love to be one of those people who could pay someone to hold me accountable for it and training me to eat better and exercise 2 times a day...But they r way to expensive and there is no way we could afford it. I also wish I could get a better job I think if I started working now part time in a few months I could go to full time when Sloan is in Kindergarten. I just hope that the kids and mike start helping around the house....I wish that I could just be a healthy size and not have to worry about what people r thinking of me.
God Bless
~N~