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Have u ever had things that u wanted to tell people and you just couldn't becasue of one reason or the other.? Well that is me. That is where I am now....There are so many different people that I want to tell things to and I just can't! I can't becasue there not willing to see the reasons why I am doing what I am doing. There are only looking at the negative reasons and not the positive ones which I can understand but look at what i am saying stand in my shoes for a minute. And then judge me!

I want to scream and cry both. I just want to be happy and I want EVERYONE around me to be happy. I want to know what tomorrow will bring and not feel like I am on the edge of a cliff waiting to fall of into GOD only knows what.

OK now on to another matter that has been bothering me. It was brought to my attention that I don't mention my mom enough or at all......THIS WAS TRULY NOT MENT TO HURT ANYONES FEELINGS..... It is not as if I MEANT to not mention it. I was in no way trying to hurt or get back at my mom I love her very much. SO I am now going to talk about her.....

MOM,

My mom is a very unique women she can make people laugh at a momnets notice. She is a likeable person she has a lot of friends.....She is not working now she is taking a much need break. I don't think she needs to work any more but she says she does?

Her and my step-father go to veges around his birthday...that is there big vacation. She stays a week and he stays 2.

She LOVES her grand children very much and I know that they mean the world to her. That is the way it should be....

I don't feel we have a "close" relationship. Yes, we can talk but there are things that I don't feel I can tell her and I know there r things she doesn't tell me. That really bothers me. I wish that one day we could get closer. I don't really feel close to anyone in my family. I don't really know why. There r people that I tell things but no one that I tell EVERYTHING tooo.

O my that was hard to admit...

O I guess I should mention that I am or or I fell the LORD is leading me to MOVE......to Alabama......This was a very hard conclusion to come to and I know that no one will understand it and I wish I could explain it better or in another way but that is all I have~ THAT IS WHERE THE LORD WANTS ME TO BE.....on top of the fact that Mike will be making 3x what he makes here and houseing will be cheaper! I just want to CRY I just want EVERYONE to see that I am NOT going down there just to be with the father who abbanded me....!>!>!>! Even if he were to follow the LORD somewhere else I would STILL yes still want to move down there. I know now that people have to go where there needed to do the LORDS work and no one is ever not supposed to listen to what GOD wants.............


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